Change is Coming

First Day of Pre-K for N

First Day of Pre-K for A

Written at 5:45 a.m. - Today is the first day of school after the Christmas break. B will go back to her usual routine but today is the first day of Pre-K for my twins. All they have ever known has been to see Chris and I walk out the door of our home while they stayed behind with our nanny to play - all day long. not that they won't do that at school of course, but I am a bundle of nerves. Will I get a phone call to pick up my son N early because he is throwing a temper tantrum or he doesn't want to share the communal crayons? Will my daughter A not sit in her seat during lunch (as she does at home) and ask for milk and fruit all day long? Yes, change is never easy and it is never really as difficult as we make it to be. At this moment it is the biggest deal to me because it's just one of many claims of independence that they will have over me ... and I just want them to be my babies again.

Revised at 10:00 a.m. - I'm back home from the drop-off and I can't tell you the last time I was alone in the house. The loudest sound is the ticking of our kitchen clock. I cried a bit on the car ride home, but I'm starting to think Chris was right  - I  could bust out the Risky Business dance moves at any moment. I know some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Oh, Girlfriend!

On Sunday, I met up with an old college friend for a late dinner. I hadn't seen her in 11 years. Wow! I can't believe it even as I write it here. We had become fast friends and we were roommates for one semester after I had studied abroad. After college, we lost touch. Eleven years, three kids and a husband later (for her and I) we finally caught up with each other thanks to good ol' Facebook. I was so happy to see and hear from her again. Everyday I am reminded of how lucky I am to have had and still have such a solid group of girlfriends in my life. Although I can't keep a plant alive for the life of me (in fact, I don't even own one) I think I have done fairly well in maintaining friendships. I'd like to believe that I'm a loyal friend. Sure, it's become more difficult over these last few years, but I'm talking about quality, not necessarily quantity here. I still keep in touch with a great friend I met in third grade. I see and talk to friends from high school and college days as much as I can. One-time co-workers have become best friends and like part of my family, even becoming Godparents to my daughter A. Just as recent as two years ago I stumbled upon a group of five incredible city moms after I had B and was preparing to go back to work. Little did I know that I would appreciate their friendship as much as I do today.

Friendships are truly serendipitous. I can't count on how many occasions my friends have been there for me. Sometimes in ways that they probably didn't even realize just how much it meant to me. Just recently, those familiar faces were mixed in a crowd of family and friends at the twins' first birthday party. In one overwhelming moment I paused and acknowledged that all of them were here to share yet another special moment with us, as many have done over the years. Old friends hold a special place in our hearts because they know who you were and what you have become; and through it all they have remained. Yes, our lives change and so do these relationships. And yes, time may pass without seeing or speaking to friends, but if any of them needed me today I'd be there in a heartbeat, just as I was on Sunday. But girlfriend, just don't ask me to take care of any of your plants.

A Blogger I Shall (Will) Be

Today I decided to officially start a blog. I've thought about it often in the last year. I even borrowed a friend's book on blogging. I'm still working on finishing it. I'm a daughter, sister, wife, mom, friend and professional to a lot of great people that have stuck by me over the years. Unfortunately, as it happens for so many people, making time for everyone and everything is an issue. Yet, I have managed to find some balance even with a full-time job, a two-and-a-half-year old and one year old twins. It's demanding, but I love it (most days). At the same time, I feel like I'm not doing nearly enough as I should be. I haven't printed some great baby pics I have or created baby books yet for the twins. I didn't even send birth announcements. I haven't finished my two-year old's baby book for that matter! I have piles of clothes that I've sorted and re-sorted as too big, too small, not now, and maybe later. So what do I do when time is an issue? I start a blog to take up more of the time I really don't have to spare. It will definitely be a creative outlet, but I think the most value will come from spending time capturing and memorializing small and large happenings in my life, milestones from the kids, times with family and friends or it'll serve as a place to jot down random thoughts. Perhaps years from now this blog will serve as a reminder to my children (and my husband) as to what a cool mom/wife I am. For me personally, maybe it will serve as a written reminder to myself that I am a sum of the individual roles I play in this life. Or, maybe it will simply serve as a virtual baby book so I can toss the partially-filled hard copy versions out and live guilt-free. I could live with that too. I look forward to capturing all the Monkey Foolery in this zoohouse.